Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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