I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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