sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
