"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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