you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
