god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
