you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
