Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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