i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
