Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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