hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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