your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize