Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
