i don't like sucking hair
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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