If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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