I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
