apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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