Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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