When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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