Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
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I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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