My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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