Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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