hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
