The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize