Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
