Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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