if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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