so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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