He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
