I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
