If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
