lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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