I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
