I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
do nipples grow back?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
