yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
