We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
