I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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