Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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