Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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