Sry I called you an 8
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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