I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
