1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
