Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
