why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
