I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
