Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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