Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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