I just cut my nipple shaving
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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