i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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