i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
