dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
