we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
