Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
