I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
last night I used snow as a chaser
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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