so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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