its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
