i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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