dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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