There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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