apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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