you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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