no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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