in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
