My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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