Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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