Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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