So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
