Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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