I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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