So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
