My hand turned me down
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize