The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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